Mindset Preparation: Begin with Stillness, Not a Searchlight

When you prepare to write your life story, resist the urge to scour your mind for drama.

The most powerful stories often begin, not with a bang, but with a whisper.

Instead of hunting for the “right” memory, consider setting the stage for memories to find you.

Some writers start their day by setting a calming tone in their space by lighting a candle, closing their eyes and stating an intention.

I don't typically begin my day by lighting a candle, but I do begin by writing in my gratitude journal, listening to or participating in a meditation, and setting an intention. 

One intention I like is "Compelling memories for my life story find me today."

And from there, I go about my day.

This way, memories pop up or drift up.  When a memory shows up, I just have to be prepared to write it in my journal or make note of it in app like Notion before it drifts away.

Writing Tip: Every Memory is a Portal

Every memory and aspect of your life is loaded with enough content for a story.

Don't underestimate the narrative power of simple memories.

I found this out unexpectedly while decluttering. Old greeting cards, a worn certificate, or a bundle of swap-meet handkerchiefs—each held a spark of memory.

When I found those handkerchiefs, for example, I was whisked back to fourth grade.

My teacher gave gold stars to students who remembered to bring a handkerchief each Wednesday. (She believed that proper ladies and gentlemen always have a handkerchief.) I don’t recall the reward for the most stars, but I do remember my fierce desire to win it.

That one memory was tucked in a drawer for decades—until a small square of fabric brought it roaring back.

Your life is already filled with story starters.
Before you discard or donate your finds, pause to see if a memory emerges.

Encouragement: Ask Others to Remember with You

Memory isn't a solo activity. It’s a shared art.

When I planned my 80th birthday party, I realized my guests—friends, relatives, childhood classmates—each carried pieces of my story I might never reclaim on my own.

So I asked them to come to my party ready with a favorite memory we shared they had written on a card of any kind.

They did—and their responses were funny, touching, surprising, and deeply moving.

Enjoy the video below from my Memories are Everywhere series that details this activity and will hopefully encourage you to ask your friends to tell you about shared memories.

Insider Tip: Make It Easy to Participate

When asking others for help, make it easy for them to participate.

Not everyone has time to write an essay—but everyone has at least one memory to offer.

At my party, I made it easy:

• Guests could bring any kind of card with their memory.

• Those who couldn’t attend texted their memory to me, and I wrote it out on custom cards.

When I read them later, it felt like I was brushing dust from buried treasure.

Some were hilarious. Some surprising. A few were less flattering—but all were genuine.

These weren’t just stories—they were reflections. Echoes.
And they showed me who I’d been through someone else’s eyes.

Final Note: You're Not the Only Witness

Your life story is not a monologue—it’s a dialogue between who you were and how others saw you.

When you invite loved ones to share a moment they recall about you, it becomes a living archive. These shared stories often reveal forgotten dreams, tender truths, or unseen impact.

You are the witness to your own unfolding. But so are they.
So honor those glimpses they offer.

Don’t let them drift away.
Capture them. Welcome them.
Let them remind you that your life has been felt, seen, and loved—more than you know.

Thank you for letting  me be a part of your writing journey. 

 Flora M. Brown, Ph.D.

P.S. ✅ Not sure how to get started with your life story? Let me open the door and point the way. Book a 30-minute Discovery Chat with me at Dr.FloraWillChat