🧠 Mindset Preparation

Holidays are more than dates on the calendar—they are emotional landscapes. When we gather with family during holidays, we’re not just carving a turkey or decorating a tree—we're stepping into memory-laden rituals, unspoken traditions, and sometimes, emotional minefields. Before writing, pause and breathe.

Ask yourself: What feelings tend to surface during family holidays—joy, grief, laughter, tension?

Approach this exercise with compassionate curiosity. Rather than reliving painful or chaotic moments as raw wounds, look at them as opportunities to reflect on the truths that holidays tend to uncover—about ourselves, our roles in the family, and our evolving identities.

✍️ Writing Tip: Zoom in on a single holiday moment. 

Avoid trying to capture every Christmas, Thanksgiving, or birthday.

Instead, choose one vivid, emotionally charged scene: the year the electricity went out on Thanksgiving, or the Christmas when your uncle finally shared the secret family recipe.

Anchor your story in sensory details: Was there the scent of cinnamon? The clatter of silverware? The strain of a forced smile? 

Let dialogue do some of the storytelling—especially when family roles clash or traditions reveal deeper truths.

Use this formula to spark your scene:

“It was [holiday] at [location], and I remember [specific moment] like it happened last year. That was the year when…

Here's what I shared about one Mother's Day at Mom and limousines

💛 Encouragement

You may feel conflicted about sharing certain holiday stories, especially if they involve disappointment, tension, grief, or violence. That’s okay. Real stories live in the contrast. Holidays, with all their promise of joy and togetherness, often shine a light on the cracks in our relationships—and that’s what makes them meaningful.

You don’t have to paint a perfect picture. The story doesn’t need a tidy ending. Just be honest and honor the moment. Your truth—told with empathy—may help someone else understand their own.

📌 Takeaway

Holiday gatherings can serve as rich story-mines for your life story. They’re full of character cameos, old traditions, and spontaneous drama that reveal the unique dynamics of your family.

By focusing on a single holiday scene, and reflecting on what it revealed about your family (and you), you create a layered and emotionally authentic story.

Even humorous holiday mishaps—a burned pie, a forgotten gift, an awkward toast—can become touchstones of greater truths.

🎯 Insider Tip

Create a “Holiday Reflection Bank.”
Draw a grid with holidays on one side and years on the other. For each intersection, jot a quick memory, feeling, or photo prompt. For example:

This will become a treasure trove of story starters you can write about one by one, to build your one-memory-at-a-time collection of stories.

📜 Final Note

The holidays wrap our families in the same room with our past, our present, and even glimpses of who we wish to be. When you write from these moments, you don’t just preserve memories—you deepen your understanding of what truly mattered in your life.

Keep your pen near your heart.

Your life story matters — remember, it's in the messy, magical and meaningful moments that our true stories live.

Thank you for letting me be part of your life story journey.

Flora Brown, Ph.D.
[email protected]